Sometimes being Kind is as important as being Present

Because I was trying so hard to focus on being present while my Type A family members were trying to rush from point A to point B while discussing point C, I found myself growing utterly impatient.  I wanted my companions to EXPERIENCE New York City since it was their first time there.  I wanted to “stop and smell the…” ok, in NYC maybe I didn’t want to use the sense of smell as much.

But definitely to linger, to soak it in.  I found myself getting rushed along and growing bitter.

However, I now realize that just because being present was important to me, it was still something that I was struggling with just a month ago.  How could I expect my travel companions to be open to it or even consciously trying to employ it when it was still so new to me and not at all a focus for them? 

What’s ironic and a little bit awful is that I was so critical of how we were losing our experiences in the present moment, that I spent a great deal of time in my head being angry, also losing my own experience.  What I missed was kindness and compassion.  And now I can never get that time back to experience travel with 3 of my truly favorite people who I love dearly.

I’d like to illustrate an experience to give you an idea of what I was facing - If only I had been able to giggle then instead of turn grumpy (another excuse: it was 95 degrees and humid…)

Ahead of time, my mom emailed: “I was told by the hotel that we must be sure we travel only in the YELLOW NYC TAXI CABS.  Not the black gypsy cabs.”  I acknowledged the email, saying, “yes, this is good advice.”

As we were exiting the airport, there was a sign: Ground Transportation.  As we were walking in that direction, my mom said to my aunt, “We must make sure it’s a yellow taxi cab.”  My aunt said to me, “make sure it’s a yellow taxi cab.”  While looking at the sign, my mom asked, “But does Ground Transportation mean they will have the YELLOW taxi cabs?” 

My aunt promptly found someone working at the airport to ask if “Ground Transportation was the way towards the YELLOW taxi cabs.”  We were told yes, go outside the door and you will find many yellow taxi cabs waiting.  As we walked outside, they were still reiterating to each other that we must find a yellow taxi cab.

The line was very long and I saw a sign for another taxi stand around the way.  I decided to go ahead and check it out.  There were yellow cabs lined up all around the corner and very few people waiting, so I ran back and told my mom and aunt to follow me.  The questions:

“Did you find taxi cabs?”  “Are you quite sure they are YELLOW taxi cabs?” 

Exasperated, I walked forward, wordlessly leading the way.  As they looked at the yellow cabs lined up around the block, my mom asked, “But are they New York City yellow taxi cabs?”  I pointed out that they said “New York City” on the side and that they were indeed very yellow.

As I looked around the city, my mom and aunt discussed among themselves how they had to be sure that all of our taxi cabs were yellow…

Looking back now with love, I can see that they were just nervous to be in a new city and they wanted to try to control the few things that they saw themselves able to control for their comfort level. 

The Experience is just as much about not judging everything that happens as it is about stopping to notice and appreciate the moments.