Take My Cheese and I'll Bite Your Hand Off!

 Ok, not really (anymore.) But why can food be that powerful?

First of all, as I'm genuinely looking for balance, I'm also looking for simplicity. What better time than now, while beginning a brand new year, a new cleanse? Simplicity, like moderation and practicality, often eludes me, especially in the kitchen. I just made a minestrone soup and when I went to write down the ingredients, I realized it had so many ingredients that no one would make it! I love to cook and I tend to get carried away. But now that I'm managing my own business, I don't have the time I would like to play in the kitchen. Also, I would love to share recipes that you will actually be able to squeeze into your own busy schedules.

I'm not even exactly sure what I will eat for breakfast without eggs or bread.

Using up those eggs and bread. Kale and tomato recipe coming soon.

Will you help me? Please share with me your recipes- the simpler and tastier, the better. Remember, they must have no gluten, no animal products, no sugar, no caffeine, and no alcohol. If your recipe is chosen, I'll be happy to give you credit here on the blog.

For a moment, I considered letting myself keep eggs for this cleanse, as I always choose organic ones. But -wow- how much that craving must own me! Last time I did the cleanse, I probably would have chosen to skip the gluten free part and I was surprised to discover by omitting gluten that I actually had a sensitivity. Without bread, I had less headaches and way more energy. So this is an important way to take inventory of what the body truly needs to hum along optimally.

While watching the movie Fed Up, I was in tears of anger over how the food industry has exploited my psychology since childhood to make me a willing (and unhealthy) consumer. Basically, in the 80's when skim milk gained popularity, they had all this extra milk fat sitting on shelves. So what did they do? They started marketing cheese much more heavily, especially to children. That's when the commercials of that ooey, gooey, gotta have it cheese started gracing our televisions. They didn't need much help since cheese is actually an opiate. Oh, I bought it- Grilled Cheese with Macaroni and Cheese was my favorite meal. My mom couldn't keep Kraft Singles in the house for more than a couple of days (yes- a 24 pack!)  My nickname as a child was "the cheese monster." I ate so much cheese that it didn't take long for me to develop a pretty severe allergy. When I gave up dairy in the 5th grade, I lost 30 pounds in 6 months. But then, cheese snuck back into my life as a "necessary" indulgence and I have not been able to breathe pretty much since I was eight years old. Enough is ENOUGH. I will no longer allow myself to be controlled by corporations that compromise my health to make their money.

I heard you gasp in excitement. I did, too. Congratulations, food marketing!

As more evidence of how ridiculous this is, I couldn't even find a picture of "milk fat" like in the movie to insert here. They were all glossed up, made to look like delicious cheese, and of course there was a celebrity with a milk mustache. Even when I changed the search to "gross milk fat," the images were pretty much the same, but added were obese people, breasts, and more, albeit strange, marketing. Are you kidding me?

So I'm all in. But if this is an alien concept to you and you'd like to start more simply, maybe you want to try to give up one or a couple of the things, but not commit to all five, and see how you feel?  That’s great; please come along and flirt a little – I promise I won’t tie you down, steal your coffee, hide your bread, and tell you what’s in a McDonald’s cheeseburger.  Just see what you like, no pressure. Small changes generally stick better, so you must start where you are comfortable.

Shopping lists and recommended products coming next. Thanks for joining me!

A Wink from the Sun - Being Present

It’s a grey and rainy day and I’m looking at the dashboard clock.  Traffic is heavier than usual and I’m driving in haste, replaying the busy of the day and cringing a bit as I race along.

Suddenly, I realize that the sun is setting a bit later as a shimmering strip of bright pink spills out over the dark gray cloud.  The surprising streak lights its way through a tiny corner of the sky, winking hello and intimating sunshine’s return.  I could have so easily missed that flirty, subtle slip of pink with its promise of hope, color, and warmth to come.  What if I had been focused on the cars in front of me and the gloomy pall cast over buildings for my whole drive?

It makes me wonder what else I’ve missed.  How many times have there been tiny, bright streaks of sunshine while I’m watching the road and whining about the busy?  How many beautiful but brief moments of gratitude have passed me by?

That little moment filled my heart with joyful expectation that the warming season is coming, that life and days won’t always be so gray. 

Just as we breathe through the tougher seasons of life, just as we dream of summer’s warmth on our shoulders, the sun waits.  It’s not gone.  We just can’t see its whole face yet. 

I pray for the freedom of heart to stay focused on the beauty of life, on the richness that hides quietly inside this present moment.

Drone Missing

From NYC's Library Walk:  "The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings."  - Kate Chopin, The Awakening  (An excellent book if you haven't read it.)

Today, I celebrate my independence from the corporate world.

If I’m being completely honest, it was pretty scary to leave a steady corporate job.  This huge step of going off on my own (which encouraged certain loved ones to ask if I need professional help, by the way) is no doubt (in my crazy mind) the right direction.

Is it scary because of the loss of income?  Yes.  But the scariest part is going against the norm in society.  It’s setting myself apart and saying, “I am free to choose how I make a living and I can do it on my own.”

I've learned that it’s okay to wonder – it’s okay to question if there might, in fact, be another scenario that could work for life besides sticking with what seems "comfortable" and echoes what others around me are doing.  If I am not living my true life – holding on to the dreams that make me who I am- then what is the point?

A dear friend of mine is a schoolteacher and though she’s working full time, she feels truly fulfilled and still finds time to savor the moments of her life.  I think that's wonderful and balanced.

I was not balanced in the business world.  I flooded coffee down my throat to motivate myself falsely to keep going.  I forced myself to play the part, though it wasn't me at all.  I had constant migraines.  I thought maybe something was wrong with me.

Now I know the truth- there is not only one way to survive in society.  We do not all have to buy into the system and go through the routine every day, contributing to the giant purring engine of big business.  I can choose my own path.  I am believing in myself and listening to my inner voice, for a change. Without coffee and without migraines!

Happiness Machine

"Should a Happiness Machine, he wondered, be something you can carry in your pocket?

Or, he went on, should it be something that carries you in its pocket?"
                         -Dandelion Wine, Ray Bradbury

Amid this lovely, whimsical writing, is a story where the character succeeds in making a happiness machine.  But the machine makes everyone sad because it shows pictures of places that everyone should go, things that everyone should like, expensive things like Paris and those that make you crave more things - but the characters had not actually experienced them and in learning that they wanted, they cried.

He spent so much time and energy creating this machine that he had collapsed in exhaustion when finished.  He was chagrined to realize that his invention had failed.

But when he looks inside the front window of his house, he sees his wife cooking, his children reading and playing games... looking at his family, he realizes that it's his life that is the true "Happiness Machine;" it's his beloved family.  He'd had no need to put his energy into inventing the happiness.  It was there all along.

Happiness is found in the moments of life.  It is not around the corner - once we buy this or finish that.  It is here.  It is now.

The Happiness Machine is life, carrying us in its pocket.  It is the memories and experiences we collect, the people we choose to surround ourselves with, sunshine on shoulders, a favorite song, a cup of tea or a caramel mocha, a hot shower, a walk in the park, holding a baby, catching up with a friend, receiving a hug from a child, taking a moment to relax, a roof over your head.  Sip and enjoy.

Grateful

I am grateful to be on this new path of peace and healing.

According to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, when you are on the frequency of following your true path – doing what you are meant to do - the way should be easy, effortless.  Opportunities appear that are pleasant because they are meant for you.

One opportunity that opened up is babysitting once or twice a week for a really nice family.  The three -year -old girl and six -year-old boy are bright, sweet, and adorable.  Last week, they were down for their naps and I sat on the back porch – sun on my shoulders, looking out at the lake and thinking, “This is my new job.  This is my new life.”  They pay me the same that I was making at my corporate job.  I could have been sitting in an office, forcing myself through my day.  Instead, I was playing with children and sitting in sunshine.

My largest expenditure that I felt unable to sacrifice was yoga.  Miraculously, help was needed at the studio, so I am now trading my time helping at the front desk for free yoga.  And I love working there because it’s something I believe in, a place that I truly care about and love to nurture.

Same with being at home.  As an introvert, I love the opportunity to spend the day by myself, thinking, writing, nurturing my home and my family.  I can honestly say that I’ve found so much joy in being home – in caring for my household, having time to do thoughtful things for my husband, cooking lovely, healthy meals, and helping with the family business - our rental properties.

All of these beautiful opportunities presented themselves because I was open, because I was searching for a way to truly be me.  And most importantly, because I believed that I would be guided with all of my heart.  It is the life that I visualized for many years.  And it was up to me to take the first step – all this time.

The Trouble with Expectations

I disappeared for a few days – this weekend held the excitement of both my four year wedding anniversary and my birthday!  It was very nice, but I learned a valuable lesson: The danger in expectations.

My husband and I were full of joy, living our simple but happy life where I cook at home and we spend nice time together.  Of course, since it was our anniversary on Thursday, we decided to go out for a “fancy dinner.”  First, we debated – why spend the money when I can cook something fresh, healthy and delicious?  Why go out just because that’s what we’re supposed to do on an anniversary?  In the end, we caved to the enticing dinner out idea, expecting it to be much more amazing than what I could have provided at home. 

We went to a local Italian restaurant that had opened recently in Mentor, one we had been excited to check out.  We sat on the patio and the evening was perfect.  The dinner, however, was a disaster!  I ordered shrimp and aglio olio.  The pasta was in a brown, meat based sauce which was seasoned only with heavy salt and garlic.  Where were the fresh herbs?  Why were they putting heavy meat stock in what should be a light oil sauce?  Why was my shrimp chewy?  When I said “no cheese,” it seemed they went back and scraped it off the same dish.  Expecting a true Italian meal, I was sorely disappointed.  And robbed!  This experience cost about $86!

We chose to take a secret shopping opportunity the next night to get “free drinks and an appetizer” for an anniversary continuation.  I got dressed up like we were going to a wedding.  We had to take such detailed notes that we didn’t even really get to talk or enjoy each other’s company.  And all of the appetizers were meat based, so I munched on snack crackers served at the bar.  Once again, disappointed by the experience of a fancy night out!  Plus, it took me 1.5 hours to write the report afterwards.  Ugh!

Finally, I was busily making plans for my birthday.  My mom gave me birthday money for a bike (Thanks, Mom!) and I made all these elaborate plans that we were going to go biking through the park, pack a picnic, lay in the sun and relax.  I got so caught up in planning Sunday on Saturday that I wasted Saturday afternoon planning, then on Sunday it stormed and I was frantically trying to still squeeze in a bike ride in the couple hours before the rain came back.  Before I knew it, the day was over.  The weekend, as a matter of fact.

Have I learned nothing?  If I had just kept on living the way I’ve been living – simply enjoying life, cooking, noticing the moments – it would have been an amazing, relaxing weekend.  Instead I stressed myself out and ended up really low on energy from eating out!

The story does have a happy ending, though.  I finally gave up trying to make plans and instead we made the beautiful Italian dinner together that I had been craving.  We lit a candle, sat facing each other, and enjoyed fresh, homemade ingredients prepared just how I like it.  If only I had started there all weekend!!! 

My birthday dinner!  Gnocci with fresh basil in a tomato pepper sauce with fried greens and broccoli.  Appetizer recipe coming soon!  (Bruschetta with delicious salad)

I’ve been reading Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman and isn’t it amazing how certain things can find you just when you need them?  In the book, Dan’s teacher, Socrates, says:

“You are rich if you have enough money to satisfy all of your desires.  So there are two ways to be rich: You earn, inherit, borrow, beg, or steal enough money to meet all of your desires; or, you cultivate a simple lifestyle of few desires; that way you always have enough money.”