An Illusion of Separateness

In the doctor’s office waiting room, I was overcome with the strangeness of our efforts to pretend we are alone in the world.  Everyone in the waiting room was sitting with at least one chair between them and a stranger.  Every single person avoided eye contact with everyone else.  I even tried an experiment where I looked around and tried to catch someone’s eye.  It seemed to make people even more uncomfortable, pulling closer into their personal bubbles.  Obviously, we are all people.  We are all sharing space here.  Why the very conscious efforts to look down, to pretend to read a magazine, to remain separate?  What are we afraid of?  (OK, it is the doctor’s office… maybe we’re afraid of communicable diseases…)

So, what about when you’re stopped at a red light, consciously looking straight ahead, anywhere but at the car next to you (especially if you’ve just behaved badly on the road, thinking of racing the other little box beside you and not thinking of the person behind the wheel)?  What about those who text the whole time they are out to dinner?  How emails, chats, and smart phones are quickly replacing face-to-face exchanges?

I’ve begun to notice that everywhere I go, people seem to be trying with all of their might to pretend that they are the only ones there.  At restaurants, movie theaters, in lines.  I’ve always been so busy doing the same that it never occurred to me how STRANGE it is to pretend other human beings aren’t there.

Are we not all sharing in this journey?

What is happening to our society?  Would we rather wrap ourselves in little bubbles and not interact – ever?

I don’t know where the balance is, however.  Obviously, we can’t go have conversations with everyone in an entire restaurant.  There is a point where you just want to talk to the person you came with.  Sometimes, the waitress wants to get your tip and go, not chat.  And we're all so used to this as the expected norm. 

I’ve tried looking into the other car and either the other person isn’t looking or it seems pretty creepy for both.   Why do I feel weird looking for a human behind the wheel?  We're not "supposed to" do that...

I’m not proposing we turn the entire world into a kumbaya commune.  But I am asking, has anyone else noticed that we might be going in a weird direction? 

*Note:  Image borrowed from: blog.lib.umn.edu